Becoming a Bar Star

In the past few weeks, I've begun working as a bartender at private events. Bartending has always been something that I felt I would enjoy doing. It gives you an opportunity to meet a lot of people, have a good time, and make decent money all at the same time. A friend of mine has an event services business that supplies hosts with unarmed security and bartenders. So when he called me up and said he needed an extra bartender for an 80's night frat party, I jumped on the idea like a spider monkey.

I have always had a tremendous amount of respect for those in the service industry. I've seen what all these hard-working individuals have to tolerate and so I try my best to treat them with the utmost respect to balance out their day and remind them that they are not wasting their time.

At last night's event I encountered every single person that a bartender hates. The guy who puts his money in your face, the girl who screams at you, and the guy who yells out "THIS IS BULLSHIT" when you walk past him 3 times while he's shoving his money in your face. How can you avoid being THAT person?.....

Today, I'm going to give you some helpful advice in bar etiquette so that you can become one of the better patrons and also feel like a V.I.P. at the same time. Now, it's not going to happen overnight, but if you follow these tips, you will definitely be spending more of your time at bars enjoying yourself rather than waiting on a drink.

Rule #1: Open the door
While waiting outside in the line, do not complain about waiting outside in the line. It isn't the door guy's fault that the place is packed. He has to make sure that the establishment is in within the capacity allotted by the Fire Marshall. If a bar is caught being above capacity they will be fined. Instead, chat it up with the door guy. Introduce yourself and get to know him by just shooting the breeze. Keep in mind, though, these guys can tell when you're just trying to use them. So make it genuine. After all, if you're going to keep coming back... they're going to become your friends anyways.

You may be asking yourself "why the hell do I want to be friends with the door guy?" And the answer to that is very simple. You won't have to wait in line. When I go to Village Idiot in Columbia, I never stand in line. I walk right past all of the frat guys, sorostitutes, and anyone else between me and the door, and I high five the door guy (who calls me by name) and I walk upstairs. The looks that I get for that move are priceless. And it feels good.

Rule #2: Show up early, go home late
Not in the same night, though. Show up at happy hour some days and leave before the crowd gets there. Or show up after 10 and help them close down the bar.

Money makes the world go 'round. When the bartenders realize that you're going to be a trooper and stay a while, it shows them two things. 1) you're going to spend money 2) you're loyal. Getting to the bar early is good for learning the names of the bartenders. Again, shoot the breeze and be friendly. The convenience of not having to yell over the music to tell them which card is yours is unmatched. It's also nice to be able to call them by name when you need their attention. When it's time to leave, say goodbye to them. Call them by name, give them a fist bump and tell them you'll see them later.

Rule #3: Tip..... well
Again, money is a force in itself. If you tip well, your bartender will notice. If you don't... they notice that as well. One of my friends at Village, Elizabeth, works as a server. She had a guy run up a $115 tab. An average tip is 15% of the bill, so the average tip for his would have been somewhere around $17-20. Nope. This doucher left her $9 and asked if that's enough. She won't tell him no because a) it's unprofessional and b) she's too nice. I consider myself a good tipper (20-25%), but that's because I know how little these people make in hourly wages. Granted, some bartenders and servers make damn good money. But not all of them. Considering you don't know what their W-2 looks like, don't assume they don't need your money. Tip well, and they will remember you. Your face, your name, what you drink, and how you like your drink. Hell, they might even start shaving some money off your tab. Also, be polite and tell them they are doing a great job. Have you ever NOT enjoyed a compliment?

Also, when you're buying shots for your group... order just one extra and let your bartender take one with you. They'll appreciate it. But be quick about it. They are there to work, not hold a shot glass waiting on you to complete your "epic" 5 minute toast.

Rule #4: Stay classy
This one is simple... do NOT get sloppy drunk. Keep your wits about you and they'll appreciate it. They can't understand your slurred order and they sure don't need you pissing off their other patrons by knocking them and their drinks over.

Rule #5: When you got it, don't flaunt it
Once you have achieved "Bar Star" status... do not abuse it. When you get denied by the new door guy and have to wait in line... do not bitch about it and give him the elaborate story of who you are and how everyone else lets you in because then you'll be the one getting passed in line. Also, when your regular bartenders do not wait on you hand-in-foot, do not throw a temper tantrum. It's highly likely that they know you are there, but maybe everyone else has been waiting for a while and they are trying to please everyone. You should know by now that they will get around to you as quickly as they can. You could also use your status to help out your fellow patrons. If some poor soul is stuck behind you without a clear entry to the bar, kindly offer to help him/her get their drinks. Just simply turn around and say something like, "hey, I can probably help you out with getting your drinks... what do you want?" and take their money and order for them. 9 times out of 10, you have just made a friend and maybe even earned yourself a free drink. Plus, she might be single.

When you get to the point where they lock you in... (yes, in. They allow you to continue drinking and hanging out while they are closing up.) ... don't just sit there and hang out. Be productive. Ask them if there is anything you can do. Just a simple task such as putting chairs on the tables (after they've been wiped down) goes a long way in showing your APPRECIATION for them. That's really all it boils down to... appreciation.
Follow these five rules, and you'll surely find yourself enjoying the time spent in bars even more than ever. But please remember to DRINK RESPONSIBLY. Take a cab, call a friend, or anything else that you have to do. But DO NOT drink & drive. It's stupid. It's dangerous. It's not cool. At all.

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Thanks for reading, you Bar Star, you.